Surviving Suicide – Part 6
It’s been a quite a few days since I last posted, just needed a break and time to digest and clear from my last post. Don’t know if it’s my natural inclination to procrastinate or whether it’s more emotional than I expected, probably a bit of both lol!
To finish off with the story I shared on Part 5, March 2000 had a lot going on. I believe that’s when we got served with the papers that our housekeeper/nanny was suing us for wrongful dismissal. Can’t remember the exact date we went to court but it was a very trying time. My late husband Rob was still denying he’d ever slept with her. I knew he had, but he refused to admit it. Now to have it result with a lawsuit was just ludicrous. We drove together to court, but I drove which was a first. In all the years we’d been together, Rob ALWAYS drove. I sometimes didn’t mind, but he was a maniac on the roads and would often get into altercations with other drivers, and although I drove pretty quickly and was not a timid driver, I’d just more or less drive around the idiots whereas he’d have a go at them. If he got mad at me while driving, he’d drive even more aggressively and then I was at his mercy, so this time round I decided I was driving lol! He hated it! He did however, get into the passenger seat ;). We drove the 20 minutes or so to get to the courthouse. I was very nervous and anxious, my hands were sweaty and I kept sighing. I don’t know what bothered me more – Rob lying to me about sleeping with her, or the fact she was taking us to court. Either way, I had already decided to bring a company cheque with me and was willing to pay to make this go away and have at least this issue resolved.
I asked Rob several times along the way whether he’d come clean and admit. He looked me right in the eyes and said “NO! I honestly didn’t!”. We didn’t discuss too much else, parked the car, got inside, figured out what courtroom our case was being heard in and took our seats. I was very stressed out, Rob was silent but very fidgety. I was not used to being in a court setting, don’t think up until that point that I had been, but you know what they say about first time for everything! There were quite a few other people in the courtroom and I was dying a slow death thinking oh my god! this whole stinking mess is going to come out in front of all these strangers!!! Next thing you know our names were called and we were told that we’d be having a private session with the judge, us and the housekeeper who had shown up. I recall looking up and saying a silent “Thank You!”. We sat in a separate little waiting area before going in to see the judge. I said to Rob “it’s bad enough going in here to begin with knowing that you’re lying, and having the housekeeper battling me, but to have you against me too is just too much!” I asked him one more time looking him straight in the eyes and said “I will ask you one more time, did you sleep with her?”, this time his eyes filled up with tears and he very softly said “yes”. I don’t know why but it gave me courage, I didn’t feel like I was battling the world alone or something, so I said “Thank you. Now you will sit to my left, I will sit closest to the housekeeper, you will not say a single word and let me handle this entirely.” Rob agreed. We got called into the judge’s private chambers, Rob sat to my left, I sat in the middle and the housekeeper sat directly to my right. I never looked at her once, only focused straight ahead at the judge. I believe the housekeeper told her version of what had happened and fortunately never mentioned the affair. She was very hyper when relaying her story, kept repeating herself and just didn’t do a very good job of presenting. Then it was my turn to relay my story. Wasn’t long into mine when the housekeeper interrupted disagreeing loudly, the judge told her to be quiet. I continued and was very calm, she interrupted and was even more agitated at this point and once again the judge had to tell her to be quiet and stop interrupting. This went on several more times and finally the judge warned the housekeeper that if she interrupted one more time, she would be held in contempt and the case would be dismissed. I continued on praying that she wouldn’t be able to control herself, but she did. When it was over, she wanted something like $5 or $6,000.00 settlement and her car back. We had already sold her car by this time, had brought the paperwork to prove it and so the judge decided on a figure of about $1,500.00 and I wrote the cheque begrudgingly. It rubbed me the wrong way to have to pay someone like this, but as I’ve already said, I came prepared to shut this puppy down and that’s what it cost. The housekeeper left with cheque in hand, she wasn’t happy either but grabbed the money and ran. Rob and I waited a few minutes as per the judge’s suggestion so that she wouldn’t be outside when we exited.
We left a few minutes later and fortuantely she wasn’t around. We walked to our car in silence. I was pretty shaken up but had held it together while in there. At this point, it no longer seemed so important to have the control of being the driver and I did concede to letting Rob drive back to work. As I recounted what had transpired in there, I realized that things had gone a whole lot better than I expected. Rob had not said a word, in fact he sat there like a little boy scorned again, he sat with his knees together, fidgeting a bit with his hands, kept his eyes mostly downward and it was then that I also realized it must have been pretty hard on him too. I caught myself almost feeling sympathy for him, but then my anger resurfaced as I reminded myself that it was his damn extracurricular activities that had gotten us in this situation in the first place! This swift change of emotions was like a rollercoaster and was pretty much what the rest of the ride with him would be like for quite some time. I once again looked up and gave a silent thank you to the Big Guy above for having it be all over and having turned out the way it did without the embarrassment of the sexual escapades coming out. We drove a while and I don’t recall how we got to the conversation but Rob was saying how many times he’d slept with the housekeeper, that the sex wasn’t that good, that she was nowhere near as good as me, etc. It repulsed me quite honestly. The final clencher was Rob saying “well I guess I’m not so predudice after all”. Are you freakin’ kidding me??? I wondered why in hell he’d say something so insane, but looking back on it, maybe he was trying to find at least one positive out of the mess lol! My anger was in full gear and I came right back at him that for the number of times he said they’d slept together divided by the $1500.00 we’d just had to pay out, that it averaged out to about $150/hour and that I hoped he’d had a good time because he could have had a hooker cheaper :(. That sort of concluded the conversation for the rest of the trip back to work. We returned to the shop, continued on with the day and somehow got through that too.
Just another day in the life of me – it often felt like I was playing a part in a soap opera, such high drama but funny how there was no compensation per episode ;).